I don’t want to celebrate

Next week, it will be my birthday and I have to say that I am not looking forward to it.

It is not because I’m turning 44, it is not because I’m not where I should be in life, but because it will be the first birthday I will have without my father.

It is specially hard for me because my birthday is on the 14th and my dad’s birthday was on the 15th.  We always made the point of celebrating our birthdays together, even if we live far away, I would go home or he would come to the USA so we could be together to celebrate.

We were very very close.  We had this special bond that we really never talked about, but we knew it and we could feel the strong ties between us.

I don’t want this day to come, I don’t want to celebrate without him.  I wish I could just run all the way to the beach and just sit there in silence watching the waves, feeling his presence.  Because I know his favorite place to be was the beach, and it happens to be my favorite place as well.

But I have to keep going, I have to find the strength.  For my daughters, for them, I need to keep smiling, keep living, I need to teach them to be strong, to stay in the light  and find peace no matter what life brings them.

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2 comments on “I don’t want to celebrate

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