Can somebody explain to me

I really don’t understand how life works, can somebody explain to me?  How is it that a person that has been such a good father, husband, friend, can get to the end of his life in such a painful, miserable way and so soon.

I’m trying to find the light in all this, I’m trying to find strength, but I tell you, it’s been a rollercoaster of emotions.  I actually feel as if I’m riding a rollercoaster blind folded; I don’t know when I’m going to go up, I don’t know when I’m going to go down.

I just don’t understand, it is so hard to see how my father, my wonderful caring father is experiencing the fight for his life.  He’s been through a lot of battles, but this one is the war, and as hard as it is for me to say, it looks like he will not be able to proclaim victory.

About 15 years ago, he lost sight of his left eye, but he didn’t give up, he kept going, after a while, he found a way to keep driving.  Then 3 years ago, his right kidney had to be removed, he didn’t give up, he kept going.  Last Christmas we found out that he had a brain tumor, so it had to be removed.  It turned out that the tumor was cancer, so now it is in his lungs, his bones and his liver.

I saw him in June, he was able to go to the beach, he loves the beach.  He was walking and eating and moving.  Two months later, I come to Mexico to see him, he is in bed, unable to move, he eats little, sleeps a lot, it looks like he aged 20 years in these two months.

Why? Why all this has happened to my father?  I don’t understand, and no, I do not accept it.  Please, somebody explain to me…….

 

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5 comments on “Can somebody explain to me

      • you’re welcome! i’m am sorry for your pain and distraught. My father died with cancer. At the end, he was in so much pain – he begged us to contact Dr. Kevorkian (assisted suicide). Thankfully he died within a week of that request. i came to realize that death was far better than torture of terminal cancer. He was a very religious man. There is nothing anyone can say that will change what you feel. You just ‘endure’ and that’s all you can do.

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